chutney

“This is every cook's opinion -
no savoury dish without an onion, but lest your kissing should be spoiled, your onions must be fully boiled.” - Jonathan Swift

A couple of weeks ago I found myself in the kitchen all alone and got the urge to cook. We had a tea-towel hanging up to dry and on it was a recipe which I had always noted but we had never ever tried. On impulse, after reading through the ingredient list, I decided there and then to try it as we had all the requisites:

Apple & Pear Chutney

Ingredients
    • 1.5 kg chopped cooking apples
    • 1.5 kg chopped firm pears
    • 500 g chopped onions
    • 600 g brown sugar
    • 1.5 litres vinegar
    • 2 tbsp chopped mint
    • 5 tsp salt
    • 2 tsp ground allspice
    • 1 tsp mixed spice
    • 1 tsp curry powder
    • 1 tsp turmeric powder
    • 1 tsp mustard powder
    • 15 g coriander seeds ground
    • 20 g grated fresh ginger

Method
Combine all ingredients and simmer until thick. Put in sterilised glass jars and seal.

The result was quite delicious and was easy enough to make. Although chutney is considered as typically Indian (its name from the Hindustani chatni) is in fact a British specialty dating from the colonial era, just like pickles. Chutneys are put in glass jars and kept in the pantry like jams. They enliven slightly insipid dishes, mainly cold ones (chicken, fish, ham, leftovers) the sweet/sour/spicy/fruity taste may not be suitable for everyone’s palate and be warned if you’ve never tasted it before, this dish may be an acquired taste.

absence

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder,
But ever since you left, my heart is smaller, colder.
Now by myself, all of my time is mine to squander;
But so much time is worthless and I feel inert and older.

They say that absence from our love is worse than death
And feeling all that distance separating us, I sympathise;
My life is empty, cold, each gulp of air a dying breath,
A heart that’s stopped, a silent mouth and closing eyes.

They say that absence lessens small loves, increases great ones;
How true that seems, as my love for you grows evermore;
With absence watered, my rushing river of love, swells, runs
And takes all with it, till it reaches welcoming far shore.

They say the joy of meeting pays the pangs of absence,
But all I feel is pain and torture; no thought of future bliss
Will now console me, and your lack is my quintessence;
I abide your deficit, only to live again when we shall kiss.

leave-taking

Once the decision’s made,
You should leave.
No dilly-dallying,
No second chances,
No qualms,
No discussions.

It’s hard, I know, to pack;
A suitcase full of loneliness
Is a heavy burden to lift.
A note of goodbye,
Best left unwritten
Bitter words best left unspoken.

The memories, both good and bad,
Will hound you anyway;
So don’t bother to burn letters,
Tear up photographs,
Erase phone numbers,
Or give up on common friends.

When you leave,
The air will still bear traces
Of your perfume long after your departure.
On the mattress an indelible trace
Of your body shape will remain;
The dog will keep on expecting you home from work.

Once you’re gone,
The space you leave behind
Suddenly more substantial
Than your physical presence of years,
Your absence, suddenly, a stronger reminder
Of your existence.

And in the empty house,
I’ll mourn your leave-taking,
Inviting to the wake, your lack.

solutions in the end

Early morning, wan light creeping in through half-shut window,
Remembrance of the full-moonlight last night; your indifference;
The phone that refused to ring, refused to ring, refused to ring…
And above all the smell of bitter almonds, cyanide.

Your smile, how I read into it so much, so many hidden meanings…
But it’s really silent, inarticulate, mute – I imagined it all,
While a false hope stops me solving everything neatly, quickly, finally.
And the bitter taste, that pungent acridity of strychnine.

My thoughts, the rain, the tyranny of your relentless presence;
Even when absent, you’re by my side, with me.
My fantasy, a secret mythology - how endless, inexhaustible my patience…
And there, now, I feel the keen caress of sharp razor on my wrist.

Pleasure so dear, of its precious draught I tasted only a single drop,
Like a drop of water on parched lips of desert traveller lost in the sands;
Your oasis a cruel mirage, a simple illusion by physics explained.
And next to my ear, the deafening sound of a discharging pistol.

The endless night, the dawn that comes, comes, comes,
And never arrives; while in futility, I wait and wait and wait…
You never arrive, never beside me, never with me.
Yet death comes in a thousand guises,
He hurries, running to keep our appointment
Bringing with him, the end, solutions and redemption…

running after the past

A walk in well worn paths
Shaded by the fragrant roses
Of the passage of time.
Familiar faces, accustomed places
Sunlight and laughter
Remembered embraces.

Your eyes are sadder, maybe wiser
By memories of old mistakes,
Ageing misunderstandings
Finally understood;
But your hand reluctant
To stop history repeating itself.

You yearn for the past,
Your remembrances precious:
Of friends, sweet wine, good times.
You yearn for a past
When I was writhing in agonies
Impaled like a butterfly by the pin of your love.
Each passing second a tear
Each of your smiles a dagger
Each of your nostalgic moments one of my hells.

pages from the past

A notebook by pure chance discovered,
Brings back old pages from the past;
As my experiences lie bare, uncovered
My feelings backwards are cast.

The even script, my younger self belies
My thoughts of yore, there are manifest.
Old tears, laughter, truths and even lies
Appear in pages, like flowers pressed.

My heart’s first stirrings faithfully recorded
The bitter disappointments, and the sheer joy;
I read, and on the train of the past boarded,
Travel to foreign parts of me, when a boy.

My inner being revels and perfectly resonates
With my younger self, my innocence engaged;
I look at my lined face, surprised that the fates
Have willed a youth, in body so much aged.

My pages from the past, the yellowed paper,
The mind’s awakening and the soul’s flight
Captured forever, and their evanescent vapour
Wafts in, a sweet aroma, a bright light…

gerndercide

“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.” - Aristotle Onassis

What are little girls made of, made of?
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice, and everything nice,
That's what little girls are made of.

What are little boys made of, made of?
What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails, and puppy dog tails,
That's what little boys are made of.

I read once again with horror about the major problem of female infanticide and feticide (“gendercide”) that remains rampant in China and India. Female infanticide has been a feature in many cultures through the ages, and has probably been responsible for many millions of female fetus and infant deaths. The problem is most acute in China and India, the most populous countries in the world. These countries have a strict population control policy coupled with a strong culture of male supremacy, and gendercide is continuing to occur with alarming regularity there. In all cases, female infanticide is an indication of the low status accorded to women in many parts of the world.

In January 2010 the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences demonstrated what can happen to China if girl babies are killed. Within ten years, the Academy reported, 1 in 5 young men would be unable to find a bride because of the reduced numbers of young women (this is a figure unprecedented in a country at peace – compare the shortage of marriageable young men after the first world war in Europe!). In China, a specific word “guanggun” (meaning bare branches) describes this shortage of bachelors. The shortage of females seems to have become more acute between 1990 and 2005, amongst other factors, linked to the one-child policy, (introduced in 1979).

Unfortunately, China is not the only country affected by gendercide. Parts of India have sex ratios as skewed as anything in China. In other East Asian countries, like South Korea, Singapore and Taiwan there are also high numbers of male births compared to female. Since the collapse of the Soviet Union, former communist countries in the Caucasus and the western Balkans show a strong preponderance of male births. The traditional patriarchal values of these societies seemingly have been revived as soon as the communist regime was overthrown.

Social scientists are predicting all sorts of consequences that will arise in these societies once the shortage of females becomes widespread. Women may become a commodity, especially in terms of their social and reproductive functions. Prostitution is likely to rise, warn the experts, as will rape and homosexuality amongst the males. A trade in stolen children and nubile women may also be an observed effect.

Once again, the inhumanity of humankind astounds me.

loving

It’s hard to love and love full well,
Giving one’s heart, risking its breakage.
It’s hard to give one’s all, and be so vulnerable
As to chance an utter devastation.

It’s hard to make one selfless, weak, and put
Another person’s happiness above one’s one.
It’s hard to willingly be hurt, weep, pine
While floundering in uncertainty and doubt…

It’s hard to live beholden to one’s beloved;
Breathing each breath, as though it’s borrowed.
It’s hard to lie awake and nourish oneself
Only with tears, sighs and gray disquiet.

But how easy to love when the beloved’s sun
Shines bright and one smiling glance is enough
To vapourise all misfortunes, apprehensions,
And answer all questions in the affirmative.

How easy to love when one touch reassures,
A kiss that’s freely given, a priceless treasure;
When blissful joys are shared by two
And raise both lovers clear to heaven!

happiness of getting someone back.

“By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth.” - Bible - Song of Songs, Solomon

A date to remember today, 20102010! Funny how we humans seek patterns and significance in the most insignificant and arbitrary of details… But to be playful is within our nature and to seek order, pattern and rule is part of the joy and curse of being human. I remember lying in bed when a child and gazing at the cracks of the ceiling trying to make out shapes and figures, pictures and whole scenes. Or looking at the clouds and seeing monsters, angels, animals, a thousand objects everyday or fanciful.

I had a phone call from a friend today, with whom I had not spoken for a while. He has been into some great mess lately and was living the life of a emo all over , enjoying it shortly, but then he finally got back to normal. He was ecstatic when he talked to me revealing he had fallen in some silly issues all over again. I shared his happiness with him and we prattled on for a while, until I asked him if everything is back to normal. And then he clouded over, became insecure, stuttered, was tongue-tied in fact and finally admitted that he thought so but had so many doubts…

How hard it is to love! I jotted down a poem and I dedicate it to someone special.

BLACK COFFEE

“Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical.” Jonathan Swift

The day dawned gray and dreary today, so it was a lazy breakfast with plenty of hot coffee, toast, orange juice and some beautiful classical music on the weekend breakfast show on radio. We then went out and did some grocery shopping and came back to watch a movie. In the evening it was time to relax and listen to some more music, this time with some wine and in a little bluer mood. And then, there’s nothing like strong black coffee just before bed!

when i was high on caffeine

^^

                                  this is the expression that i had on my face the whole time.i have no idea what was the actual reason behind it but the feeling was indeed great.it felt as if i am on the top of the world.anyway,i had psychology paper so i woke up around 4am to study as i knew nothing about it at all.i got freshened up as soon as i could,made breakfast and some coffee for myself.i started off with "drugs" chapter when i came across a line which said"Ingestion of the amount of caffeine in one or two cups of coffee causes many mild physiological effects."

it kinda seemed interesting because i've been having coffee since so long and nothing has happened to me yet.i was afraid i'd fall asleep while writing paper.i studied for like,3 hours and  had 3 cups of coffee =P

                                   It was 7 so i had to leave home.i don't know why but i was in such a cherished mood,you have no idea.i had studied only 2 answers and luckily those two questions came.thanks to jiten who really encouraged me and scared me at the same time =P I was so exhilarated.i happily wrote how much i knew and got done with it in an hour.i hope i at least get through in this paper because i am already flunking 3 paper *giggles* i later met my friends in the canteen.even their paper was awesome as one of my friends had chits =P even they were shocked to see me in such a jolly mood =D everything seemed so perfect.i hung around a bit and returned back home.

                                    As soon as i returned home,i told mom about it but mom thought its due to lack of sleep that i've been getting lately because of my exams going on.i giggled and i went away.i hogged something and was just chilling out.suddenly,i started feeling so restless and suffocating,i don't know why.then i realized it could be because of access of caffeine.hence,the effect didn't last so long and i decided to crash down =P a

                                 this way,i really realized that i could be high even on caffeine =P

Letting Go...

Two things happen when you let go of something; you feel the pain of its absence more acutely or you feel the freedom from the weight it once possessed in your life...

Rat Poison

I'm really bothered by the poison behind that building. Not for the fact that it's meant to kill the rats, I'm not against that. The building is in an industrial area, FCI so I can see how they would want to control an animal like a rat. 


I'm really bothered by the poison behind that building. Not for the fact that it's meant to kill the rats, I'm not against that. The building is in an industrial area, FCI so I can see how they would want to control an animal like a rat. 


But how many other animals will be affected by this poison? Birds and predators? Untargeted animals eating the bait? Is this a common way to control rat problems?


How about the fact that this IS in an area surrounded by food chain distributors... is there a possibility of this contaminating any human food in any way? 


I wonder if there is a better way? 


A post full of questions, I'll have to look into the answers when I have time.

The Red Night

Tonight is very long,
Longer than last night,
Longer than ever,
And may be longer than tomorrow.

Tonight i leave the place that I'll remember for my entire life,
Tonight I've become real man because the sky is dark,
Darken than last night,
Darken than ever,
The stars more further,
Further than last night..

Tonight, I'll create a future
Future for tomorrow night,
But i can't,
I lost,
I cry,
And I ponder,

Yes, i ponder,
And there's the answer,
That I've already know,
I've already learned,
I've already answered.

The red world,
The red sky,
The red blood,
The red life,
It's all about my memories.

I never lie
Because i don't want you to cry.

Is This Really The End?

sitting by a side,

i just don't feel anything right,
the pain is too much inside,
i don't want anymore to fight....




well,i'm not so good with the rhymes but its all i can say to express my state now.
umm,its sunday and its meant to be boring
i'm having a very crappy day 
i woke up at 12pm today and found nobody but me in the house.i called up mom but she didn't answer.i was very hungry but there was just an banana and milk in the fridge.
so i had it and made coffee.later,i sat online on facebook and had a talk with my friends when i saw my friend vishal online. we both were very good friends but distance took  a toll on our friendship.today,he wasn't sounding right.when i asked him about it,he overreacted and spoke very harshly to me.i still kept my cool and tried to make him feel better but he asked me to leave him the fuck alone forever.I was too shocked to say anything so i just logged off and deleted him from my contacts and my friends list.i don't know if i did right but i just couldn't stand him anymore.
i thought i'm strong enough to bear this pain but i realized i'm not.
i want him back but i can't take him in this way.
i'm just too terrified to act on it.
i miss him :(


i keep asking myself every minute,if this is really the end or just a bend? 

terrified

I'm not entirely in the best of mood right now, atleast not at the moment when I just found out my the guy whom i used to feel for,was talking shit about me to his friend.passed away.

i am feeling so stupid that i felt for such a guy who never took me seriously

he calls me a kid but to be true,he is now behaving like one by forwarding my texts to his friends and publicizing my stupidness.He has a good heart,i really want him to be with me as friends but i am just losing everything for him now.i deleted him from my fb and skype account and even my contacts but till this thing s really disturbing me.i never expected him to be this way.ugh!i feel used : ( 

i hope i get strength to get over him...

love is not what it appears to be

Love can be pretentious, 
Love may not make sense, 
But when the day is out and the mask falls, 
Love is not what we expected at all!

Think twice about love

Loves stinks...it is no good =/

It does nothing but hurt you and play with your emotions.

Don't think about it, don't even say the words because you're wasting your breath and time just to get your heart broken for the hundredth time.

xx

last moments of a loved one

Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak for my heart, and every time you smile at me, it is an action of love, a gift to me, a beautiful thing. 

These loving actions take off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love, and however rare true love may be, true friendship will always be a part of us. Our hearts have reasons that reason does not understand and it is difficult to lay aside this confirmed passion we share. 

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war and love is a sign we are growing up. And most of all, love is the key which opens the gates of happiness. And now that we are closing in to our final moments together I always knew being your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was all I ever dreamed. 

Note: I've used quotes from other poems and combined them to make something new and beautiful  xD 

irony of love

Isn't it ironic that the person who you love the most is often the one who hurts you the deepest?


i thought we could work things up and start over again and make things better as they were before. but,you can't get everything that you desire for.Everytime i tried to make things better,he used to cut me down by faulting me for everything and this led to fights later misunderstandings and in the end,a full stop to our life.


*sighs*

the blame game.

        So there were we,fighting again over the broken strings of our relationship.it was all over between us but he bought all up again.i saw him online so i started talking by saying "hi" but he reverted back saying,"don't gimme that" :/
      well,it was unexpected and weird as well.i wanted to be polite and kind to him but it just didn't bring up any good on him.He didn't stop for a moment from accusing me for something i didn't do but still i happened to keep an eye on eye on every point which he was saying about me.later,he lost his cool and we fell out into a big fallacy and i ended up crying.i hate it when someone gets the wrong side of me.he knew it but that didn't bother him a shit.he gave vent to his anger,family frustration,and jealousy by abusing me.
the big problem is he loses his cool even in straightened circumstances.